adBlockCheck

Schedule For 2013 San Diego Comic-Con

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Schedule For 2013 San Diego Comic-Con

Sci-fi, fantasy, and comic book fans from around the world will converge on Southern California this weekend for the 2013 San Diego Comic-Con International. Here are some of the most anticipated events of the four-day convention:

  • Day 1: Introductory seminar explaining all the major superheroes and what their powers are
  • Day 1: Exclusive panel with none of the creators and writers of Dexter
  • Day 2: Harrison Ford arrives early to make sure he doesn’t miss a single opportunity to discuss Han Solo
  • Day 2: Something involving manga that is literally too sad to print
  • Day 2: San Diego Chargers coaching staff holds open tryouts to try to find unknown talent
  • Day 2: Panel with eight microphones and eight glasses of water
  • Day 3: LeVar Burton debuts homemade film Roots In Space
  • Day 3: The cast and writers of Psych answer halfhearted questions from tired convention attendees who just want a place to sit down
  • Day 4: Judges present the Best Costume award to the convention attendee who looks the most like an overweight version of a fictional character
  • Day 4: Black-tie dinner

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close