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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Season Finale Wrap-Up

The 2006–2007 TV season is over. In the event you couldn't watch them, here are some highlights from the season finales of your favorite shows.

Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip: Saddled with poor, trite, unrealistic writing, Danny and Matt face the cancellation of their show.

The Office: The Dunder-Mifflin employees show glimmers of expectation as they head off to act in some of the worst movies of the summer.

House: Dr. House goes missing, prompting the rest of the hospital staff to scream his name for the entire show.

Ugly Betty: Surprise!  America Ferrera is actually beautiful. As if a network would ever put a truly ugly—or even vaguely plain—person on television.

My Name Is Earl: The series comes to an abrupt end when Earl accidentally leaves his list in his jeans pocket and runs it through the wash.

Lost: Sawyer stuns the castaways by confessing that, many years ago, he killed a woman named Laura Palmer.

The King of Queens: The series ends on a down-note when the cast comes out for a final bow and no one claps.

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