adBlockCheck

Recent News

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
End Of Section
  • More News

Secret Service Called Before Congress

Following an incident in Colombia in which Secret Service agents drank excessively and hired prostitutes, the head of the agency was called before Congress to discuss the scandal and its fallout. Here are some of the revelations from the hearing:

  • April 15, 1865: Secret Service completely fails to prevent assassination of Abraham Lincoln by not yet existing
  • October 9, 1977: Four members of President Carter's security detail showed up aboard Air Force One in KISS makeup for his visit to Detroit
  • March 29, 1981: Drunk agent reveals to John Hinckley, Jr. at a bar that President Reagan's body is particularly vulnerable to bullets
  • January 15, 1982: "SS" beat Reagan's high score on White House Dig Dug machine
  • August 3, 1993: An agent was discovered running a moonshine still in the Lincoln Bedroom
  • March, 7 1994: Neglected to dive in front of the TV, leaving Chelsea Clinton exposed to Saturday Night Live’s unflattering and rather petty depictions of her
  • March 10, 2012: During vice presidential visit to Honduras, replaced everyone’s weapons with bananas for Secret Service Prank Day
  • March 15, 2012: Agents left Vice President Biden's detail for 12 hours to camp out for the newest iPad

More from this section

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close