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Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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Shocking Revelations From The World Of Sports

The sports world is still reeling from former NBA player John Amaechi's decision to come out in his memoir Man In The Middle, but it's not the first time sudden admissions have made headlines:

1979: Terry Bradshaw admits that he has read every book ever printed

1990: Doc Gooden reveals that his habit of sniffing, licking, and hugging his "special" rosin bag was not actually because he simply loved rosin bags

1995: "Dr. J" Julius Erving admits in an ABA documentary for HBO that, before his legendary free-throw-line dunk, he had the line moved five feet closer to the basket

1998: In a routine interview on ESPN, Michael Jordan makes the sports world extremely uncomfortable when he casually states that "maintaining a commitment to excellence is fairly easy when you're born with more talent than everyone else"

2001: The morning of the Daytona 500 that took his life, Dale Earnhardt's fellow drivers laugh at him when he tells them of the flock of ravens, the mysterious cloaked figure, and the silently weeping woman with black hair and chalk-white skin that appeared in his dreams the night before

2005: A now 6'7" Muggsy Bogues admits in an episode of ESPN's Outside The Lines that when he played in the NBA, he was only 11 years old

2006: Lance Armstrong is forced to retract several passages from his autobiography in which he claimed to have triumphed over adversity after being born with no arms or legs

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