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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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Shocking Revelations From The World Of Sports

The sports world is still reeling from former NBA player John Amaechi's decision to come out in his memoir Man In The Middle, but it's not the first time sudden admissions have made headlines:

1979: Terry Bradshaw admits that he has read every book ever printed

1990: Doc Gooden reveals that his habit of sniffing, licking, and hugging his "special" rosin bag was not actually because he simply loved rosin bags

1995: "Dr. J" Julius Erving admits in an ABA documentary for HBO that, before his legendary free-throw-line dunk, he had the line moved five feet closer to the basket

1998: In a routine interview on ESPN, Michael Jordan makes the sports world extremely uncomfortable when he casually states that "maintaining a commitment to excellence is fairly easy when you're born with more talent than everyone else"

2001: The morning of the Daytona 500 that took his life, Dale Earnhardt's fellow drivers laugh at him when he tells them of the flock of ravens, the mysterious cloaked figure, and the silently weeping woman with black hair and chalk-white skin that appeared in his dreams the night before

2005: A now 6'7" Muggsy Bogues admits in an episode of ESPN's Outside The Lines that when he played in the NBA, he was only 11 years old

2006: Lance Armstrong is forced to retract several passages from his autobiography in which he claimed to have triumphed over adversity after being born with no arms or legs

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