Skechers To Pay For Dubious Fitness Claims

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Vol 48 Issue 21

$lapping $trangers

MTV 9:00 p.m. EST/8:00 p.m. CST Contestants must slap as many unsuspecting passersby as they can for a chance to win $300.

Report: 5th Floor A Bunch Of Pompous Dicks

SEATTLE—Citing their stuck-up attitudes and stupid, hip little outfits, a devastating new report from Waverly Building sources found Tuesday that the people who work on the fifth floor are a bunch of pompous dicks.

Friends Of Friends

NBC 9:00 p.m. EST/8:00 p.m. CST In tonight's episode of this spin-off of the classic '90s sitcom, Charlie and five other more-or-less strangers awkwardly talk about what a great guy Ross is while trying to discreetly check the time.

U.S. Cuts Aid To Pakistan

The Senate Appropriations Committee voted 30-0 to cut aid to Pakistan by $33 million after the country’s government arrested and sentenced a doctor who tipped off the United States to Osama bin Laden's location.
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Skechers To Pay For Dubious Fitness Claims

Shoe company Skechers, whose rounded-bottom Shape-Up brand was purported to have been good for weight loss and overall fitness, has been ordered by the Federal Trade Commission to pay out more than $40 million in refunds. Here are some other recent FTC decisions:

  • Nintendo: Ordered to pay $10 million because FTC Chairman Jon Leibowitz thought Super Mario Galaxy 2 was way too hard
  • Taco Bell: Forced to pay $0.99 to Kyle Parker of Louisville, KY, for not being as Mexilicious as the static cling sticker on the window promised
  • Kraft: Fined $215 million for failing to disclose the grisly consequences of consuming Lunchables after 3 p.m.
  • Red Bull: Refunded $4.24 to truck driver Craig Peterson, who drove from Seattle to Miami without feeling particularly awake
  • Slim Jim: Paid $1.99 to Rob Paulo after he snapped into the product only to find some weird red stuff leaking out
  • 1-800-FLOWERS: All customers of the floral retail site are eligible for a $5 refund after a class-action lawsuit decided in favor of the plaintiffs who were successfully able to show that flowers are merely an empty gesture
  • Georgia-Pacific: Ordered to include disclaimer that wrapping fists and biceps in Brawny paper towels provides no advantage in a bar fight
  • CBS: Ordered to pay $20 million for continuously jerking viewers around about who the mother is on How I Met Your Mother
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