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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 31, 2017

Aries: They say there’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and her child, but then they have yet to see your experimental new adhesive compound. Taurus: The stars, in their infinite wisdom, recommend that you check yourself this week, as not doing so might lead you to wreck yourself in the future.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.
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'Soul Train' Creator Don Cornelius Dead

Last week, the final chapter of Soul Train came to a close when show creator and longtime host Don Cornelius was found dead in his California home. Here are some highlights from the legendary show he created:

  • 1971: James Brown accidentally invents the splits when he tries to exit the stage in both directions at once
  • 1975: Amidst threats of violence against the first white singer to appear on Soul Train, federal troops are sent in by President Ford to escort Gino Vannelli to the stage
  • 1982: The May 29 episode is immediately banned from ever airing after famed dancer Valerie Linder debuts a new move that proves 100 percent fatal
  • 1988: Keith Sweat brings it! 
  • 1989: Public Enemy debuts "Welcome To The Terrordome" on the show, followed by the introduction of the group's wildly popular new dance, the Terrordome
  • 1998: Soul Train Line temporarily narrowed by 4 feet in experiment with bike lane
  • 2000: MC Hammer makes his return to the Soul Train studio in an attempt to grab some food from the craft services table, but is quickly caught and tossed out 
  • 2005: Following a period of decline, the show is forced to change its motto to "the third-hippest trip in America"
  • 2006: After 35 years and more than 1,100 episodes, the show goes off the air when the Republican-controlled Congress slashes long-running subsidies to the loss-generating soul-rail sector
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