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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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'Soul Train' Creator Don Cornelius Dead

Last week, the final chapter of Soul Train came to a close when show creator and longtime host Don Cornelius was found dead in his California home. Here are some highlights from the legendary show he created:

  • 1971: James Brown accidentally invents the splits when he tries to exit the stage in both directions at once
  • 1975: Amidst threats of violence against the first white singer to appear on Soul Train, federal troops are sent in by President Ford to escort Gino Vannelli to the stage
  • 1982: The May 29 episode is immediately banned from ever airing after famed dancer Valerie Linder debuts a new move that proves 100 percent fatal
  • 1988: Keith Sweat brings it! 
  • 1989: Public Enemy debuts "Welcome To The Terrordome" on the show, followed by the introduction of the group's wildly popular new dance, the Terrordome
  • 1998: Soul Train Line temporarily narrowed by 4 feet in experiment with bike lane
  • 2000: MC Hammer makes his return to the Soul Train studio in an attempt to grab some food from the craft services table, but is quickly caught and tossed out 
  • 2005: Following a period of decline, the show is forced to change its motto to "the third-hippest trip in America"
  • 2006: After 35 years and more than 1,100 episodes, the show goes off the air when the Republican-controlled Congress slashes long-running subsidies to the loss-generating soul-rail sector

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