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Politics

Grievances Brought Up With Powerless Supervisor

GRAND RAPIDS, MI—Fed up with an increasing workload and problems with his coworkers at CLG Software, project coordinator William Garsten reportedly took a list of grievances Wednesday to supervisor Todd Watkins, a middle manager utterly powerless to...

Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Speculation About Romney's Taxes

As Democrats continue to press Mitt Romney to release more of his tax records, the Republican candidate has become more assertive in his rejection of such calls, leading many to speculate about what the filings contain. Here are some of the details experts suggest he may not want the public to see:

  • List of residences includes Caribbean property named “Skull Island”
  • Used Obama’s $6,500 homebuyer credit for six different houses in 2010
  • From 2002 to 2006, official occupation was listed as “masseuse”
  • Wrote off $10,000 in aftershave during 2004
  • Really shitty handwriting for someone who expects to be elected president
  • Years of filings in state of Delaware prove definitively that the candidate himself is a corporation
  • In 2009, thanks to clever accounting, the IRS actually paid Romney $25 million in taxes
  • Just doesn’t want people to see so many pages of official documents that list his first name as Willard

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