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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Sports And The Faltering Economy

The world of sports was in financial trouble even before last week's market woes. Onion Sports runs down some of the ways teams and leagues are coping:

The NBA will send high-profile stars LeBron James and Yao Ming out to sell candy door-to-door so league can pay for road trips

As the NFL can no longer afford to pay licensing fees to use athletes' names, all jerseys will now feature the word "Player" over the number

Beginning next season, MLS teams will start making croutons out of leftover French bread instead of throwing it out

Concessions at all sporting venues will now be overpriced

The NHL has ruled that instead of having home and away sweaters, visiting teams will now wear nylon pinnies

NASCAR has announced It will be taking on extra shifts down at the feedlot

Major League Baseball has already pared down the number of active teams from the original 30, first down to eight and now to only four, with further reductions expected by the time the World Series begins

Pro bowling will stay the same

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