adBlockCheck

Sports

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
End Of Section
  • More News

Sports' Greatest Fourth Of July Moments

1826: In a tragic accident that claims the lives of the second and third presidents, John Adams collides with Thomas Jefferson when neither player calls for the ball while trying to field a pop-up fly

1934: After knocking out Jack Kracken in the first round of their fight, Joe Louis asks if he's seeing "stars and stripes," which is pretty funny until Jack Kracken is pronounced dead 35 seconds later

1939: During Lou Gehrig's famous "Luckiest Man on Earth" speech, Joe DiMaggio can't help but curl his lip in disgust

1987: Martina Navratilova wins her sixth straight Wimbledon title, and her third straight in the men's division

1998: After purchasing illegal fireworks before the game, Astros infielders Craig Biggio and Jeff Bagwell inadvertently implode the Astrodome while trying to blow up the team's mailbox

2004: On a day that will live in infamy for the Angels, Vladimir Guerrero's picnic in right field is ruined when a hard grounder knocks iced Chablis all over his lap

2006: Yankees release a dance remix of Lou Gehrig's famous speech, complete with Auto-Tune and a verse featuring Fergie

2007: Joey Chestnut brings the Nathan's hot dog eating championship back to American soil by cutting himself open and sticking the final hot dog directly into his intestinal tract

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close