adBlockCheck

Sports

Scientists Discover 99% Of NFL Players’ Brains Slimy

SEATTLE—In a major advancement of the ongoing effort to better understand the specific neurobiology of these athletes, a new study released Wednesday by scientists at the University Of Washington revealed that 99 percent of NFL players’ brains are slimy.
End Of Section
  • More News

Spurs/Thunder

It's time for the Western Conference Finals, featuring an archetypical dynamic young team and an archetypical veteran team with strong fundamentals. Here's what each must do to win:

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close