adBlockCheck

Summer Vacation Vs. Year-Round Schooling

Top Headlines

Recent News

Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Summer Vacation Vs. Year-Round Schooling

Students around the nation are currently anticipating the end of the school year and the start of summer vacation, while some education experts argue that a year-round education system would prevent children from falling behind in school. Here are some arguments from each side of this education debate:

The Arguments For Summer Vacation

  • Three-month respite from paying for ADHD medications
  • Kids who go to summer camp have opportunity to be tormented by entirely different group of bullies
  • Algebra doesn’t sink in until the fifth time children learn it from scratch during school year
  • Teenagers able to take on summer jobs that will pay for the cost of about two weeks of college
  • Gives kids much-needed time to build entirely new persona for following school year
  • The only reason anyone would be inclined to become a teacher

The Arguments For Year-Round Schooling

  • The look on their faces when we break the news to them will be priceless
  • Kids less likely to forget historical dates and state capitals that are so critical to their development and career prospects
  • Students get more classroom time to waste on standardized tests
  • Gives deeply held crushes ability to develop more fully before being cut short
  • With additional months of school, the United States could skyrocket to 25th place in global math and science scores
  • Keeps kids off the street and in the safety of an American classroom where no harm can ever come to them

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close