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Summer Vacation Vs. Year-Round Schooling

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Diehard Trump Voters Confirm Rest Of Nation Should Stop Wasting Time Trying To Reach Them

‘If Anything Could Change Our Minds, It Would’ve Happened By Now,’ Say Candidate’s Supporters

WASHINGTON—Saying it should be very clear by now that absolutely nothing can change their position on the matter, steadfast supporters of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump told the rest of the nation Wednesday that it really shouldn’t bother trying to persuade them not to vote for him.

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MERRILVILLE, IN—Excitedly sharing the news with her husband and two teenage children, local mother Karen Tyson, 49, learned about a new vegetable Wednesday, sources confirmed.

Tim Kaine Found Riding Conveyor Belt During Factory Campaign Stop

AIKEN, SC—Noting that he disappeared for over an hour during a campaign stop meet-and-greet with workers at a Bridgestone tire manufacturing plant, sources confirmed Tuesday that Democratic vice presidential candidate Tim Kaine was finally discovered riding on one of the factory’s conveyor belts.

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Summer Vacation Vs. Year-Round Schooling

Students around the nation are currently anticipating the end of the school year and the start of summer vacation, while some education experts argue that a year-round education system would prevent children from falling behind in school. Here are some arguments from each side of this education debate:

The Arguments For Summer Vacation

  • Three-month respite from paying for ADHD medications
  • Kids who go to summer camp have opportunity to be tormented by entirely different group of bullies
  • Algebra doesn’t sink in until the fifth time children learn it from scratch during school year
  • Teenagers able to take on summer jobs that will pay for the cost of about two weeks of college
  • Gives kids much-needed time to build entirely new persona for following school year
  • The only reason anyone would be inclined to become a teacher

The Arguments For Year-Round Schooling

  • The look on their faces when we break the news to them will be priceless
  • Kids less likely to forget historical dates and state capitals that are so critical to their development and career prospects
  • Students get more classroom time to waste on standardized tests
  • Gives deeply held crushes ability to develop more fully before being cut short
  • With additional months of school, the United States could skyrocket to 25th place in global math and science scores
  • Keeps kids off the street and in the safety of an American classroom where no harm can ever come to them

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