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Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 31, 2017

Aries: They say there’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and her child, but then they have yet to see your experimental new adhesive compound. Taurus: The stars, in their infinite wisdom, recommend that you check yourself this week, as not doing so might lead you to wreck yourself in the future.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:
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Sundance Film Festival

The 2007 Sundance Film Festival took place from Jan. 18–28 in Park City, UT. Here were some of the highlights:

Another screening of Little Miss Sunshine, just for good measure

A lot of talk about skiing, meeting up to go skiing

Special midnight Rocky Horror–style showing of Ghosts Of Abu Ghraib with live actors acting along with movie

Dakota Fanning getting hit on by Rob Lowe after screening of Hounddog

Dame Judi Dench getting snowboard lesson

The popcorn—so, so good

Sunday's 9 a.m. church services

Robert Redford seen simultaneously at three different locations

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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

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