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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Super Bowl Hangovers

Win or lose, appearing in the Super Bowl is no guarantee that a team will do well next season. Onion Sports looks at Super Bowl squads that went from penthouse to outhouse:

1977: After riding their down-and-dirty, take-no-prisoners style to a Super Bowl victory, the bad-boy Oakland Raiders spend the entire next season in rehab

1992: A workmanlike Super Bowl-hosting performance by the Metrodome is not enough to bring the big game back to the oppressively uncomfortable gray monstrosity

1994: After pulling off a 52-17 annihilation of the Bills in the previous Super Bowl, the Dallas Cowboys trudge through the entire season only to be forced to play the Bills in the Super Bowl yet again

2000: The St. Louis Rams experience one of the worst Super Bowl hangovers in history, losing their first game of the next season by 464 points

2003: After winning the Super Bowl, the Buccaneers did not play so well the next season

2004: Despite their 2003 Super Bowl victory, the New England Patriots go 18 games without winning another one

2005: The Cincinnati Bengals, reeling from the shock of having a winning season, begin referring to their first playoff game as "our Super Bowl" and promptly lose

2008: Super Bowl MVP Peyton Manning proves once and for all that he can't win the big one when his team loses to the Chargers in the divisional playoff game

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