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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.
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Superman Turns 75

Superman’s legacy began 75 years ago this month with his first appearance in the inaugural issue of Action Comics, and continued last weekend with the release of the blockbuster film Man Of Steel. Here are some of the most memorable moments in the legendary superhero’s 75-year history:

  • 1938: Original illustrator Joe Shuster finds out he can’t draw hands so Superman always appears with both hands in his pockets through the first 130 issues
  • 1939: Fred Astaire stars as the first silver-screen Man of Steel in the poorly received RKO musical-dance film Metropolis Shimmy
  • 1978: Superman finally defeats his greatest foe: illiteracy
  • 1984: Superman #400 finally gives fans long-awaited glimpse of Lois Lane’s vagina
  • 1985: Superman adds acid-washed denim jacket to his super suit to better fit in
  • 1992: Superman learns that Krypton was not set to explode after all, and his parents rocketed him to Earth simply because they didn’t want him
  • 1997: Death of Princess Diana puts all Superman news on back burner for a while
  • 2009: Clark Kent gets fired from The Daily Planet for fabricating quotes

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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

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