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Superman Turns 75

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Superman Turns 75

Superman’s legacy began 75 years ago this month with his first appearance in the inaugural issue of Action Comics, and continued last weekend with the release of the blockbuster film Man Of Steel. Here are some of the most memorable moments in the legendary superhero’s 75-year history:

  • 1938: Original illustrator Joe Shuster finds out he can’t draw hands so Superman always appears with both hands in his pockets through the first 130 issues
  • 1939: Fred Astaire stars as the first silver-screen Man of Steel in the poorly received RKO musical-dance film Metropolis Shimmy
  • 1978: Superman finally defeats his greatest foe: illiteracy
  • 1984: Superman #400 finally gives fans long-awaited glimpse of Lois Lane’s vagina
  • 1985: Superman adds acid-washed denim jacket to his super suit to better fit in
  • 1992: Superman learns that Krypton was not set to explode after all, and his parents rocketed him to Earth simply because they didn’t want him
  • 1997: Death of Princess Diana puts all Superman news on back burner for a while
  • 2009: Clark Kent gets fired from The Daily Planet for fabricating quotes

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