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Superman Turns 75

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Superman Turns 75

Superman’s legacy began 75 years ago this month with his first appearance in the inaugural issue of Action Comics, and continued last weekend with the release of the blockbuster film Man Of Steel. Here are some of the most memorable moments in the legendary superhero’s 75-year history:

  • 1938: Original illustrator Joe Shuster finds out he can’t draw hands so Superman always appears with both hands in his pockets through the first 130 issues
  • 1939: Fred Astaire stars as the first silver-screen Man of Steel in the poorly received RKO musical-dance film Metropolis Shimmy
  • 1978: Superman finally defeats his greatest foe: illiteracy
  • 1984: Superman #400 finally gives fans long-awaited glimpse of Lois Lane’s vagina
  • 1985: Superman adds acid-washed denim jacket to his super suit to better fit in
  • 1992: Superman learns that Krypton was not set to explode after all, and his parents rocketed him to Earth simply because they didn’t want him
  • 1997: Death of Princess Diana puts all Superman news on back burner for a while
  • 2009: Clark Kent gets fired from The Daily Planet for fabricating quotes

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