Tax Day Celebrated With 'Tea Parties'

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Vol 45 Issue 17

Three Fingered On Class Trip To Washington, D.C.

WASHINGTON—The second fingering reportedly took place Thursday night at the hotel after chaperones failed to notice that Nick Stern had been hiding in Jamie Cavanaugh's bathroom during a 10 p.m. room check.
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  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

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Tax Day Celebrated With 'Tea Parties'

On Apr. 15, people held rallies all across the nation to protest exorbitant spending and high taxes. Here are some of the slogans that appeared on their protest signs:

"Rahrr glahhr growwl scragg racker frack."

"Global warming is not in the Constitution!"

"Earl Grey #1!"

"I'm looking forward to the benefits of the stimulus plan, but don't tell anyone here. I could get in trouble."

"Walgreens poster board, 99 cents."

"Oh, I get it. This is like the Boston Tea Party."

"Make love (strictly within the confines of a heterosexual marriage), not debt."

"Everyone calm down!"

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