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Team USA's World Cup Stumbles

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WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

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Team USA's World Cup Stumbles

As qualifying rages on, we look at Team USA's hapless World Cup history.

1891 and 1895: United States athletes invent two much more entertaining games with a soccer ball

1950: Unaware they could take on new players to replace old ones, the U.S. loses 12-1 with the same team that played in 1930's World Cup

1954: One of the most talented U.S. squads in history is still unable to qualify after failing to send in its World Cup application on time

1958: The world knew the U.S. team was destined for failure when it unveiled its one-name soccer sensation, "Bert"

1986: The U.S. fails to qualify after Paul Caligiuri hits what is commonly regarded as the worst corner kick in the history of the world

1988: This year is considered the rebirth of American soccer after enough people sign up to have a national team

1990: The United States is quickly eliminated after losing to the United States 1-0

1994: This incarnation of the U.S. team probably did okay because people still kind of recognize the names Tony Meola and Alexi Lalas

1999: The U.S. women's team wins the World Cup

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