adBlockCheck

Sports

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Carson Wentz

After being selected second overall in the 2016 NFL Draft, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz opened the season with a nearly flawless performance in a victory over the Cleveland Browns. Is he any good?
End Of Section
  • More News

Technical Problems Throughout NASCAR History

An as-yet undiagnosed tire-related issue meant that NASCAR's Brickyard 400 was a minor disaster, but it isn't the first time mechanical setbacks have struck the least advanced form of motorsport:

1950: Due to both steering and visual problems, two cars collide violently in the middle of a race

1971: Window netting adopted following the tragic decapitation of Wally Hucklepup, Richard Petty's beloved coon hound

1975: To fight the problem of track debris accumulating in the bodywork, NASCAR bans the El Camino from competition

1979: When Cale Yarborough's secret turbo is stolen by the Jethro Brothers, Bo and Luke must outwit Boss Hogg to get it back—without breaking parole

1981: Dadgum thing just up and quit workin' on me; never happened when my cousin owned it, I tell you what

1984: Teams struggle to come to grips with new technologies as NASCAR introduces the "suspension," the "chassis," and the "tires with air inside them"

1990: 225,000 deaths result when every fan in the Darlington Speedway stands slowly falls asleep and asphyxiates when faulty valves on all the competing cars result in a massive carbon monoxide leak

1996: Due to faulty engine mounts, the entire drive train is torn out of Dale Earnhardt Sr.'s Chevrolet in the second-worst mechanical failure of his career

2007: The Coca-Cola 600 grinds to a halt as pit-crew men up and down pit row stare in gape-jawed incomprehension at the sight of a metric fastener on Dale Jarrett's Toyota

2008: Tony Stewart's #20 car is forced off the track after suffering catastrophic decal failure

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close