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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Technical Problems Throughout NASCAR History

An as-yet undiagnosed tire-related issue meant that NASCAR's Brickyard 400 was a minor disaster, but it isn't the first time mechanical setbacks have struck the least advanced form of motorsport:

1950: Due to both steering and visual problems, two cars collide violently in the middle of a race

1971: Window netting adopted following the tragic decapitation of Wally Hucklepup, Richard Petty's beloved coon hound

1975: To fight the problem of track debris accumulating in the bodywork, NASCAR bans the El Camino from competition

1979: When Cale Yarborough's secret turbo is stolen by the Jethro Brothers, Bo and Luke must outwit Boss Hogg to get it back—without breaking parole

1981: Dadgum thing just up and quit workin' on me; never happened when my cousin owned it, I tell you what

1984: Teams struggle to come to grips with new technologies as NASCAR introduces the "suspension," the "chassis," and the "tires with air inside them"

1990: 225,000 deaths result when every fan in the Darlington Speedway stands slowly falls asleep and asphyxiates when faulty valves on all the competing cars result in a massive carbon monoxide leak

1996: Due to faulty engine mounts, the entire drive train is torn out of Dale Earnhardt Sr.'s Chevrolet in the second-worst mechanical failure of his career

2007: The Coca-Cola 600 grinds to a halt as pit-crew men up and down pit row stare in gape-jawed incomprehension at the sight of a metric fastener on Dale Jarrett's Toyota

2008: Tony Stewart's #20 car is forced off the track after suffering catastrophic decal failure

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