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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Terrell Owens Career Highlights

1978: Directs his first really good passive-aggressive comment toward his mother's habit of washing dishes while he's trying to watch TV

1988: Drops his first pass, realizes it isn't so bad

1996: In only three hours, manages to destroy the team chemistry of the caterers working at the NFL Draft

1999: Turns a 10-yard hook route into a 78-yard first down celebration

2000: Celebrates two TDs on Texas Stadium's midfield star logo as a visiting player, proving to Jerry Jones that he is Cowboys material

2004: Hints that Jeff Garcia may be gay by saying he sees Garcia at all the gay bars he frequents

2005: Wins his part of the Super Bowl

2006: Takes a lot of drugs for some reason, but reportedly not to kill himself out of self-loathing, which is odd, as that would make a lot of sense

2007: Celebrates a touchdown against the Packers by throwing a rack of barbecued baby back ribs into his face

1996–2008: Totally wide open on that play

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