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Terrell Owens Career Highlights

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Terrell Owens Career Highlights

1978: Directs his first really good passive-aggressive comment toward his mother's habit of washing dishes while he's trying to watch TV

1988: Drops his first pass, realizes it isn't so bad

1996: In only three hours, manages to destroy the team chemistry of the caterers working at the NFL Draft

1999: Turns a 10-yard hook route into a 78-yard first down celebration

2000: Celebrates two TDs on Texas Stadium's midfield star logo as a visiting player, proving to Jerry Jones that he is Cowboys material

2004: Hints that Jeff Garcia may be gay by saying he sees Garcia at all the gay bars he frequents

2005: Wins his part of the Super Bowl

2006: Takes a lot of drugs for some reason, but reportedly not to kill himself out of self-loathing, which is odd, as that would make a lot of sense

2007: Celebrates a touchdown against the Packers by throwing a rack of barbecued baby back ribs into his face

1996–2008: Totally wide open on that play

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