Texas' New Textbooks

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Vol 46 Issue 12

Zydrunas Ilgauskas Figures He Must Be From Turkey Or Something

CLEVELAND—In a locker room interview prior to his game against the Sacramento Kings Sunday, Cavaliers center Zydrunas Ilgauskas ruminated on his home country, guessing he might be from Romania or Croatia before finally concluding that he is probably from Turkey or someplace like that.

Asian Economic Woes Force Layoffs Of 700,000 Pop Stars

SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA—In what is being called the worst development to hit the Asian pop star industry in years, the floundering economy forced several Pacific Rim nations to lay off some 700,000 pop stars this week, sources close to the young, perky e...

Last Supper Meals Getting Larger

A study of 52 depictions of the Last Supper—the final meal Jesus ate with his disciples before he was crucified—found that food portions in the paintings have grown 69 percent over the past millennium.

Highlights Of The 2010 Iditarod

Alaska's Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race is a 1,161-mile spectacle of human courage and canine fortitude, and the 2010 race was an exceptional example.

John Wall

This Kentucky Wildcats freshman phenom is a multitalented point guard who's already generating a lot of speculation about his pro future. Is he any good?
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Texas' New Textbooks

Because of a belief that academia skews too far to the left, the Texas Board of Education voted 10 to 5 in favor of buying history and social studies textbooks that adhere to a more conservative ideology. Here are some of the changes they are mandating:

  • Inserting paragraph clarifying that the poor guy Rosa Parks wouldn't give up her seat for was on crutches and really needed to give his dogs a rest; also, he later died
  • More focus on civic issues, particularly the separation of church and infidel
  • Discussion of the debate between liberal and conservative geologists about what constitutes an "igneous" rock
  • Tamping down traditional pro-Stalin stance
  • Special ethnic world history appendix
  • Expanded section on Latino contribution to American landscaping
  • Dividing number of Vietnamese civilian casualties by two due to their small stature
  • Christopher Columbus was for lower taxes but all the Native Americans he encountered wanted to do was spend, spend, spend
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