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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Thanksgiving Football Highlights

  • 1920: The Akron Pros, Decatur Staleys, Dayton Triangles, and Chicago Boosters all emerge victorious in what is surely something made up on Wikipedia
  • 1956: Although CBS receives the rights to televise the game between the Packers and the Lions, the network refuses to show any plays covering more than 10 yards, as they are deemed unsuitable for home audiences
  • 1989: The Philadelphia-Dallas game becomes known as the Bounty Bowl due to Eagles coach Buddy Ryan allegedly offering players a year's supply of paper towels to injure Cowboys kicker Luis Zendejas
  • 1993: In what millions of viewers describe as a beautiful and uplifting experience, snow falls in droves at Texas Stadium and the Cowboys lose in the last second
  • 1994: In attempt to slow down the Packers pass rush, the Cowboys bolster their offensive line by stuffing guards Larry Allen and Nate Newton with 400 pounds of oyster dressing
  • 1998: After losing the overtime coin toss, the Steelers' Jerome Bettis insists his in-air call of "coin" was technically correct
  • 2000: In a rambling interview embarrassing for everyone involved, John Madden forces Randy Moss to compare his two-TD, 144-yard performance to the "cranberry sauce on the Thanksgiving table"
  • 2009: The goddamned Lions play again
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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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