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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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'The Amazing Spider-Man' Turns 50

The first issue of the famed Marvel Comics title The Amazing Spider-Man debuted on store shelves in March 1963. Here are some of the legendary superhero’s most memorable moments of the past 50 years:

  • Aug. 1962: The iconic superhero is first created when Stan Lee realizes he can just throw any noun in front of the word “man” and a bunch of idiots will lap it up
  • May 1963: Spider-Man’s practice of paralyzing his enemies with a venomous bite and cocooning them in his web for later consumption is deemed too violent and is discontinued
  • June 1975: Spider-Man learns to swim
  • Jan. 1976: Cross-industry blockbuster Spider-Man vs. Richie Rich ends with hard-fought victory for the ol’ web-slinger
  • July 1977: Spider-Man goes to see Star Wars in a movie theater and the rest of the comic just shows the entire film
  • Feb. 1981: In a story ripped from the day’s headlines, Spidey tackles inflation alongside Federal Reserve Chairman Paul Volcker
  • Sept. 1982: Fed up with rampant crime plaguing New York City, Spider-Man purchases a gun
  • Feb. 2001: In an attempt to shoot his own webbing without the help of special effects while on the set of Spider-Man, actor Tobey Maguire accidentally launches over 80 feet of his own blood vessels from his wrists
  • Dec. 2012: In issue #700 of the comic, it is revealed that the spider that bit Peter Parker was not radioactive at all, and that all his superpowers simply came from believing in himself
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