The Case For And Against Animal Testing

In This Section

Vol 50 Issue 19

Sports Drink Company Putting First Advertisement On Moon

Japanese pharmaceutical company Otsuka has announced plans to put their sports drink Pocari Sweat on the moon in a specially equipped container bearing their logo, which, if successful, would be the first time a commercial product has been flown to the mo...

Dad Way Scarier When Controlling Temper

SANTA ROSA, CA—Noting the 51-year-old’s increasingly flushed complexion, wide and intense eyes, and slow, heavy breathing during an argument Friday morning, local siblings Jeff and Katie Russell told reporters that their father, Dave Russell, ...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Fun

  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Late Night

The Case For And Against Animal Testing

Laboratories experiment on an estimated 26 million animals every year to determine whether commercial products and medications are safe for humans, a practice that many activists argue is inhumane and can be replaced by other testing methods. Here are the leading arguments for and against animal testing:

FOR:

  • Animals cannot feel pain or experience fear
  • Puts long-tailed macaques in their place
  • Pretty much the only way to mutilate hamsters without seeming like psychopath
  • Human race may live to see the final elimination of split ends and frizz
  • Satiates scientists’ bloodlust and keeps them from going after humans
  • No chance whatsoever that our present-day treatment of animals will be judged harshly by future generations

AGAINST:

  • Animals do not always appreciate that they are part of something bigger than selves
  • Alternative methods of testing do not demonstrate sexy shine of Summer Shimmer lip gloss in same way
  • Kind of mean
  • Testing cosmetics on animals creates unattainable standard of beauty for animals in control group
  • These are animals we could be eating
  • Knowledge that animals suffered in product testing can cause untold milliseconds of emotional distress for consumers
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More