The Case For And Against George Zimmerman

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Vol 49 Issue 26

Progressive Charter School Doesn’t Have Students

ATLANTA—One year into its founding as the purported “bold next step in education reform,” administrators on Monday sang the praises of Forest Gates Academy, a progressive new charter school that practices an innovative philosophy of not ...

Government Bans Sugary, Fatty Snacks From Schools

Under the government’s new “Smart Snacks in Schools” guidelines, schools will no longer be allowed to stock vending machines or snack bars with treats exceeding 200 calories or those including trans fats.

Magic Skateboard

PBS 3 p.m. EDT/2 p.m. CDT In this spinoff of The Magic School Bus, Mrs. Frizzle and her class hop on the magic skateboard and try to land a 360 varial inside the principal’s small intestine.

Senate Passes Immigration Reform Bill

With 14 Republicans joining Democrats, the Senate passed a sweeping immigration reform bill yesterday, which would provide a 13-year path to citizenship for the nation’s illegal immigrants, though the bill faces strong opposition from House Republic...
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The Case For And Against George Zimmerman

FOR

  • Typed, signed letter from Martin confirming he attacked Zimmerman
  • Americans have soft spot for nation’s rugged, rawly sexual neighborhood watch volunteers
  • Actions fall within the letter of Florida’s “Get Out Of Your Car, Track Down Your Target, Provoke A Fight, Then Stand Your Ground” law
  • That scary photo of Trayvon Martin flipping off the camera
  • Big, round, happy moonface reminiscent of beloved comedian Jonathan Winters
  • Not convicting him would have a fun “Wow, how the fuck did this happen?” kind of craziness to it
  • Only shot unarmed black guy once, as opposed to national average of 21 times
  • Presence of an eloquent and highly persuasive Henry Fonda in the jury box
  • He didn’t do it

AGAINST

  • Murdered a kid
  • Alibi that he was bowling with friends at the time of the crime falls apart under close scrutiny
  • Decency, common sense, basic morality, etc.
  • Best-case scenario: He got into a fight with a 17-year-old and then shot and killed him
  • His original description of Trayvon Martin as 8 feet tall, 250 pounds, and carrying a semiautomatic is dodgy at best
  • Chilling 911 call features Zimmerman saying, “Hold on a sec, I’m going to kill this black kid real quick”
  • Millions of paranoid, racist assholes leaping to Zimmerman’s support may actually be hurting his public image
  • Always good to make the American legal system seem fair from time to time
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