adBlockCheck

Recent News

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
End Of Section
  • More News

The Case For And Against NSA Surveillance Online

Newly leaked documents have revealed that the National Security Agency is gathering electronic images of Americans and using facial recognition technology to identify individuals, escalating ongoing arguments about whether domestic surveillance is a necessary security measure or a violation of privacy. Here are the leading arguments for and against the NSA’s surveillance programs:

FOR

  • Spares Americans hassle of having to send data to NSA themselves
  • Carefully monitors the activities of 318 million suspected terrorists in the United States alone
  • Sophisticated facial recognition technology instantly identifies people as good or evil
  • Already successful in preventing a completely undisclosed number of terrorist plots
  • No potential for program to be abused
  • Protects Americans from those looking to take away our liberties
  • It’s too late, so let’s just try to find something to like about it, okay?

AGAINST

  • Flagrant invasion of Americans’ illusion of privacy
  • Successful multi-trillion-dollar wars in Iraq and Afghanistan already vanquished terrorism once and for all
  • Endings of many science-fiction novels
  • Gut
  • Ugh, sort of proves conspiracy theorists halfway right
  • Investigating someone’s email without consent wrong outside of marriage
  • Country kind of founded on opposite principles

More from this section

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close