adBlockCheck

The Case For And Against NSA Surveillance Online

Top Headlines

Recent News

360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

The Case For And Against NSA Surveillance Online

Newly leaked documents have revealed that the National Security Agency is gathering electronic images of Americans and using facial recognition technology to identify individuals, escalating ongoing arguments about whether domestic surveillance is a necessary security measure or a violation of privacy. Here are the leading arguments for and against the NSA’s surveillance programs:

FOR

  • Spares Americans hassle of having to send data to NSA themselves
  • Carefully monitors the activities of 318 million suspected terrorists in the United States alone
  • Sophisticated facial recognition technology instantly identifies people as good or evil
  • Already successful in preventing a completely undisclosed number of terrorist plots
  • No potential for program to be abused
  • Protects Americans from those looking to take away our liberties
  • It’s too late, so let’s just try to find something to like about it, okay?

AGAINST

  • Flagrant invasion of Americans’ illusion of privacy
  • Successful multi-trillion-dollar wars in Iraq and Afghanistan already vanquished terrorism once and for all
  • Endings of many science-fiction novels
  • Gut
  • Ugh, sort of proves conspiracy theorists halfway right
  • Investigating someone’s email without consent wrong outside of marriage
  • Country kind of founded on opposite principles

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close