adBlockCheck

The Case For And Against NSA Surveillance Online

Top Headlines

Recent News

Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

‘It’s Time I Made Some Sacrifices For This Family,’ Reports President

WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.

High School Nurse Getting Pretty Good At Spotting Morning Sickness

FAIRFIELD, ME―Having seen more students than she can remember come into her office with complaints of nausea and vomiting over the years, Fairfield High School nurse Sarah Bromti told reporters Wednesday she’s getting to the point where she can identify morning sickness without much trouble.

Jogger Clearly On First Run Of Plan To Turn Life Around

CHICAGO—Taking note of the man’s beat-up tennis shoes, sweat-drenched shirt, and ill-fitting pair of sweatpants as he made his way down the sidewalk, witnesses reported Tuesday that area jogger Dan Andreychuk was clearly out on his very first run of a plan to turn his life around.

What’s At Stake In New Hampshire

With the New Hampshire primary election Tuesday poised to impact the course of the 2016 presidential race, The Onion examines what’s at stake for the candidates
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Satisfaction

Streaming

The Case For And Against NSA Surveillance Online

Newly leaked documents have revealed that the National Security Agency is gathering electronic images of Americans and using facial recognition technology to identify individuals, escalating ongoing arguments about whether domestic surveillance is a necessary security measure or a violation of privacy. Here are the leading arguments for and against the NSA’s surveillance programs:

FOR

  • Spares Americans hassle of having to send data to NSA themselves
  • Carefully monitors the activities of 318 million suspected terrorists in the United States alone
  • Sophisticated facial recognition technology instantly identifies people as good or evil
  • Already successful in preventing a completely undisclosed number of terrorist plots
  • No potential for program to be abused
  • Protects Americans from those looking to take away our liberties
  • It’s too late, so let’s just try to find something to like about it, okay?

AGAINST

  • Flagrant invasion of Americans’ illusion of privacy
  • Successful multi-trillion-dollar wars in Iraq and Afghanistan already vanquished terrorism once and for all
  • Endings of many science-fiction novels
  • Gut
  • Ugh, sort of proves conspiracy theorists halfway right
  • Investigating someone’s email without consent wrong outside of marriage
  • Country kind of founded on opposite principles

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close