The Cost Of The Average ER Visit

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Vol 50 Issue 16

Ronald McDonald Gets Millennial Makeover

McDonald’s officials announced this week that they are redesigning longtime mascot Ronald McDonald with a new outfit and will begin mentioning him on Twitter using the hashtag #ronaldmcdonald, though he does not yet have an account of his own.

Local TCBY Has Missed Past 2 Logo Changes

Obama spends another night searching behind White House paintings for safes, an autopsy determines a total loser's corpse contained no traces of drugs or alcohol, and a superstitious Delta Airlines adds busty mermaids to its plane noses.
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The Cost Of The Average ER Visit

The average cost of visiting the emergency room is currently $1,233, or 40 percent more than what most Americans pay for rent, leading many to criticize the high cost of emergency care. Here’s a breakdown of charges the average American incurs when visiting the ER:

  • $36: Codeine pill you can easily get from Tyler down the street for like 10 bucks
  • $800: Timely, responsive care from physicians who never inexplicably leave patient waiting for hours on end
  • $8: Few extra sips of IV fluid
  • $2,500: Routine organ rotation
  • $11: Oak tongue depressor
  • $125: Paternity test, since child is there anyway
  • $300: Vial of healing tonic
  • $1,000: Video footage of cool camera shot looking down on your face as they wheel you in all fast
  • $200: Commemorative framed picture of you and your attending physician
  • $5: Tip
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