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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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The Debut Of The UNFL

A New Haven-based investor group recently announced the formation of the United National Football League, saying their 22 professional teams will focus on developing talent when play begins in January 2009. Here are the league's other noteworthy features:

In addition to playing football, UNFL will also be an international peacekeeping force

A pass will be considered complete if a receiver grabs it on the first bounce

Provides a league for those standout high school players too stupid to get into the University of Miami

Trampolines

In the event that a game goes into overtime, the league will automatically go bankrupt

Specially designed protective cup adds hilarious "Boi-yoi-yoinng!" sound to nut-shots

The commissioner's mom just bought this awesome glow-in-the-dark ball, so the league will use that

Can pretty much guarantee Doug Flutie will try out

To increase excitement, scoring, and make games move faster, field will be shortened to 12 yards

Guys will still run around and hit each other, but you will not know their names

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