adBlockCheck

Recent News

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.
End Of Section
  • More News

The Evidence Against Ivins

The suicide of bioweapons researcher Dr. Bruce Ivins derailed the investigation into his alleged involvement in the 2001 anthrax attacks. The FBI, convinced that he was the guilty party, has unsealed the following evidence:

Personalized Christmas cards featured him in hazmat suit

During his time at the U.S. Army Medical Research Institute of Infectious Diseases, was in charge of the bucket holding the anthrax

Knife, gun found in drawer labeled "weapons that won't be used to kill people"

Cheney said "That's the guy"

Entire apartment reeks strongly of anthrax

A parrot belonging to Ivins that squawks "My name is Bacillus anthracis" over and over

VHS copy of Outbreak

Was totally paranoid that government was after him

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close