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Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Obesity: Myth Vs. Fact

With as many as one in three people in the U.S. qualifying as obese, misconceptions are often formed about what it means to be significantly overweight. The Onion separates obesity myths from facts

A Primer On North Korea

The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea remains largely unknown to Americans due mainly to the secrecy and isolationism upheld by its government. The Onion provides a primer on North Korea’s people and culture
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The Health Of America

The United Health Foundation recently ranked the 50 states, top to bottom, in order of healthiest to least healthy. Here are some of the key rankings, along with the factors that placed them there.

STATE, THIS YEAR'S RANK (LAST YEAR'S RANK): REASON

West Virginia, 44 (45): Governor delivered on promise of squirrel in every pot

New York, 27 (8): Trans-fats ban in restaurants forcing residents to mug/rape/murder one another

New Jersey, 21 (14): Clerical error in medical records corrected

California, 25 (21): Role demanded a more diabetic look

Illinois, 28 (27): Chicago extended legal limit for deep-dish depth

Nevada, 39 (38): 38 wasn't working for them; trying luck with 39

Wyoming, 19 (23): Health department ordered all unhealthy people to stay home when United Health Foundation was in town

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