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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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The Legacy Of Ray Bradbury

Pioneering science-fiction author Ray Bradbury, who wrote such books as Fahrenheit 451 and The Martian Chronicles, died last week at the age of 91. Here are some of the works he leaves behind:

  • R Is For Rocket: A collection of short stories all prominently featuring Montreal Canadiens right wing Maurice "Rocket" Richard
  • The Illustrated Man: This captivating volume of stories is more than gripping enough to keep a young man’s mind off his depressingly infinitesimal odds of losing his virginity anytime soon
  • Ray’s Tips For Top Grilling: Bradbury’s influential barbecue cookbook, which includes a recipe for Sweet ’n’ Spicy Ribs that may seem quaint now, but was hailed as revolutionary when it was first published in 1963
  • The Martian Chronicles: A series of intertwined stories that at times appears to satirize issues that plague our society, but really is just a bunch of alien shit
  • Something Wicked This Way Comes: A scary guy shows up in a small town; well, he's not that scary if you're just reading it, but if you were a character in the book, you'd find him scary, perhaps even sinister
  • The Barney Chronicles: The space adventures of Don Knotts' character from The Andy Griffith Show and Bradbury’s first installment in what turned out to be a very brief foray into fan fiction
  • The Proof Is In The Pudding: Turns out the space-suited visitor from another world is…a woman
  • Sunbeam Model T-20 Auto Toaster Manual #44AG104: An in-depth look at the functions and highlights of the T-20 because, hey, they weren't just handing out book advances in 1949
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