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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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The Looming NFL Referee Strike

With contract negotiations failing and the league announcing plans to hire replacement officials, the NFL Referees Association may soon go on strike. We boil down the major sticking points of both sides.

  • Referees allege the NFL has covered up the long-term health risks of blowing whistles
  • NFL has declined referee's repeated requests to once and for all please explain to them in simple language exactly what is and is not pass interference
  • Refs have filed a $1.5 million defamation of character suit against league's replay booths, which they claim undermine their authority by constantly contradicting their decisions
  • NFL would require every ref to be as ripped as that hunky muscleman Ed Hochuli
  • Refs want to be permitted to join in when players do a touchdown dance
  • NFL won't guarantee that no official will ever have to share field with Jay Cutler more than once a season
  • Refs want fully furnished three-bedroom apartment from which they can comfortably watch the game instead of exposing themselves to harm on the field
  • NFL has demanded legally binding written guarantee that officials will never get anything wrong ever again

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