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Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.

Tokyo Portal Outage Delays Millions Of Japanese Warp Commuters

TOKYO—Saying the outdated system needed to be upgraded or replaced to avoid similar problems going forward, millions of inconvenienced Japanese warp commuters expressed frustration Thursday following a Tokyo portal outage that caused delays of up to eight seconds.
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The Mideast Peace Talks

At last week's historic Mideast peace conference in Annapolis, MD, Prime Minister Ehud Olmert of Israel and Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas sat down to begin the peace process. Here is what they agreed on:

Jews will have East Jerusalem from January to June and Palestinians will have it from June to December

To just meet again in another seven years

The Gaza Strip is the rightful land of anybody who is nuts enough to live there

Each country gets a pass on one rocketing per year

Matzo/falafel cross-marketing campaign could be huge

To at least fight over some nicer land

Leave Becky Reynolds, whom they both dated, out of this

Grand, empty gestures of peaceful intentions are a great way to burn a weekend

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Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

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