The New American Gladiators

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Vol 44 Issue 02

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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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The New American Gladiators

NBC has revived the muscle-bound competitive game show American Gladiators for a new generation. Onion Sports looks at what's new in this remake of an old favorite:

In a new twist, contenders are now doused with gasoline and lit on fire before each event

The new "Eliminator" obstacle course features eight-foot walls, 20 feet of burning water, and 30 models holding briefcases full of money

Boldly-printed steroid policy

New event called "Football" clearly just a game of football

Debut of "Mental Gauntlet" challenge, which pits contestants against Hellga in a game of Scrabble

The "Uproar" event, which is really just contestants trying to yell louder than Gladiators

15,000% increase in utterances of the word "Brother" per episode

The "Assault" game now features foam-covered IEDs on course

The unique competitive talents of "Sonar," the Gladiator whose other senses should more than compensate for him being blind since birth

"Joust" event still pretty cool

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