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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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The New Kindle

Having sold out of its popular e-book reader Kindle last fall, Amazon is now releasing an updated version of the device. Here are some of the features and improvements of the new Kindle:

New bookmark feature allows you to save your page instead of starting from the beginning every time you open it

A lot fewer dangling wires

"Like/As" button converts all cumbersome metaphors into easy-to-read similes

Streaming functionality allows user to read latest Nora Roberts novel in real-time as the author writes it

Chic white eyebuds allow user to view the Kindle display privately

"Get to the Good Stuff" application skips right to the first mention of the word "heaving"

New feature allows one to make a so-called mix book of favorite chapters for girlfriend

Unlike first version, is not just a hollow box with a clear plastic window that you insert books into

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