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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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The NFL's Overcomplicated Rules

Football may have the most complex rule set of any sport, as the Lions found out last Sunday when a game-winning catch was disallowed. Here are a few other examples:

  • In order to meet with league requirements, the home team should have 36 balls for outdoor games and 24 for indoor games, all of which must be available for testing with a pressure gauge by the referee two hours prior to the start of the game. Jesus Christ
  • On a kickoff, the clock does not start until the ball has been legally touched by a player; if it is illegally touched, the player is sent to prison for life, although the clock still starts
  • There are 45 seconds between plays. Sounds simple enough, but as the clock ticks down, players have to shout out what each second is divided by three or face a 10-yard penalty
  • Players must catch the ball with the NFL logo right-side-up and facing the cameras in order for the reception to be ruled complete
  • Balls are to be spotted short for the Lions until a majority of officials on the field determine it's no longer funny, at which point the Lions automatically forfeit
  • The pylons and goalposts extend upward infinitely until they finally reach another universe where football is played sideways
  • Following a touchdown, players may spike, spin, or roll the football, though no rolls may contain a spinning motion and no spun balls may be rolled after the spin is completed; either results in a loss of touchdown.
  • By rule, the exact definition of pass interference shall forever remain as mysterious as the definition of love and elusive as the definition of beauty
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