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Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

NFL Implements New Court Date Attire Regulations

NEW YORK—Citing players’ responsibility to represent themselves and the league in a professional manner, the NFL announced a new set of regulations Monday governing the attire that players are allowed to wear during court dates.

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.
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The NFL’s Top 10 Coaches

With the NFL season finally underway, Onion Sports provides a helpful guide to the league’s best coaches.

10. Dennis Allen: With Allen, always expect the unexpected, be it losing a game by 21 points or squeaking out a close 3-point defeat

9. Jim Schwartz: No one has done less with more

8. Gary Kubiak: Has transformed the Texans from a total laughing stock to a perennial playoff disappointment

7. Marvin Lewis: Known around the league as the best at coaching players through their testimonies

6. Chip Kelly: His spread offense is so highly touted that all the Eagles’ opponents have already conceded defeat

5. John Fox: Coached no-name journeyman quarterback Peyton Manning into a star last year

4. Jeff Fisher: One year into his tenure with the Rams, appears poised to step out of Steve Spagnuolo’s shadow

3. John Harbaugh: Coming off a memorable Super Bowl run, there’s no reason why Harbaugh can’t guide the Ravens to another 10-6 season this year

2. Joe DeCamillis: A gifted special teams coordinator who somehow stays modest despite constant comparisons to all-time greats like Frank Grump and Boils Handeman

1. Bill Belichick: Therefore rejoice, ye heavens, and ye that dwell in them. Woe to the inhabiters of the earth and of the sea! for the devil is come down unto you, having great wrath, because he knoweth that he hath but a short time. (Rev 12:12)

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