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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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The NFL’s Top 10 Running Backs

With football training camps underway, Onion Sports is preparing fans for the upcoming 2013 NFL season by ranking players at every position. Here’s a helpful guide to the league’s best running backs.

10. DeMarco Murray: Onion Sports felt obligated to put a player from the Cowboys on this list so whiny fans in Dallas will stop complaining

9. Reggie Bush: Has all the good qualities you look for in a running back and yet, alas, how true that many perfect parts may form an imperfect, unsettling whole

8. Michael Vick: The talented Philadelphia tailback is expected to utilize some trick throwing plays in Chip Kelly’s new offense

7. Frank Gore: Coming off a season in which he racked up 259 carries for 1,212 yards, Gore seems poised to rack up 259 carries for 1,212 yards

6. Maurice Jones-Drew: Dominates the backfield with a mixture of athleticism and explosive speed that he hopes will be enough to help him break free from any contract

5. C.J. Spiller: In prime position to ride Kevin Kolb’s futility all season long

4. Trent Richardson: After an impressive rookie season for the Browns, don’t be surprised if this year he breaks out for over 1,000 completely wasted yards

3. Ray Rice: Quick feet and small stature should allow him to blow through the new vacancies in the Ravens’ offensive line

2. Arian Foster: Tough running back who proved doubters wrong that he wasn’t durable enough to handle the punishing disappointment of playing for the Texans

1. Adrian Peterson: Stiff-arm has dramatically improved since he began using the hand not carrying the ball

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