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The NFL’s Top 10 Wide Receivers

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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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The NFL’s Top 10 Wide Receivers

With football training camps underway, Onion Sports is preparing fans for the upcoming 2013 NFL season by ranking players at every position. Here’s a helpful guide to the league’s best wide receivers.

10. Dez Bryant: Say what you will about his off-the-field problems, but Dez Bryant has serious psychological issues stemming from his childhood that need to be addressed in professional counseling

9. Randall Cobb: As the Packers’ new number-one receiver, Cobb will have approximately 0.4 seconds after every snap to get open before Aaron Rodgers is sacked

8. Anquan Boldin: Still the league’s best possession receiver, but the new 49ers wideout may struggle getting used to receiving well-thrown passes directly in his stride

7. Brandon Marshall: With his impressive physicality and soft hands, expect Marshall to catch a good portion of Jay Cutler’s criticism this season

6. Wes Welker: All he has to do is connect with Peyton Manning for a touchdown against the Patriots in Foxborough so we can see Tom Brady’s reaction. That’s it. That’s all we care about.

5. A.J. Green: With his expert route-running and ability to create separation wherever he goes, expect Green to be in the perfect position to grasp helplessly for dozens of Andy Dalton’s overthrown passes

4. Julio Jones: Lived in the weight room this summer, so he’s extra motivated to earn performance bonuses to finally be able to buy or rent a house

3. Andre Johnson: Johnson is once again expected to have an outstanding season that ultimately means nothing

2. Larry Fitzgerald: Following his underwhelming 2012 season, Fitzgerald is hoping to come back in a big way thanks to the Cardinals’ addition of … Carson Palmer? Oh, man, he’s fucked

1. Calvin Johnson: With his size, speed, and tremendous athleticism, Lions fans can expect Johnson to carry their team tantalizingly close to the playoffs this year

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