adBlockCheck

Politics

Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
End Of Section
  • More News

The Nixon Library's New Watergate Exhibit

A newly revamped exhibit at the Richard Nixon Presidential Library in Yorba Linda, CA details the events behind Watergate and the eventual downfall of the 37th president. Here are some of its new features:

  • Listening station that plays every one of Nixon's taped utterances of the word "cocksucker" in a single rapid-fire four-minute session
  • A detailed explanation of what reel-to-reel tape is
  • An animatronic Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein cackling as they set fire to the Constitution, White House, and American flag
  • The original draft of Nixon's resignation address in which he tells Americans they'll "be sorry"
  • List of all 62,890,119 scandals with the "-gate" suffix
  • Booth where visitors can record their own Nixon-Haldeman filler dialogue to fill in the legendary 18-and-a-half-minute gap in tape 342
  • A bunch of Reagan stuff, just to see if anyone notices
  • A replica of Democratic National Committee headquarters allowing visitors to bungle their very own break-in
  • Arcade, so visitors don't die of boredom

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close