The Onion’s Tips On How To Prevent Your Major Media Site From Being Hacked

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Strongside/Weakside: Jurgen Klinsmann

Despite leading the U.S. men’s national team through the so-called “Group of Death” in the 2014 World Cup, Jurgen Klinsmann has come under heavy criticism this week after his side finished fourth in the 2015 Gold Cup. Is he any good?

How Apple Plans To Rebound From Apple Watch Flop

With sales of the Apple Watch reportedly down 90 percent since its initial release, Apple is suffering in the wearables market and faces a lack of enthusiasm about its latest product. Here are some ways Apple can improve the watch and prevent the company from falling into a slump:
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FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

Global Soccer Tournament To Kick Off In America Later This Afternoon

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

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The Onion’s Tips On How To Prevent Your Major Media Site From Being Hacked

  • Well, firing your IT person is certainly not a bad place to start.
  • Create safe passwords by only using the trustworthy letters and numbers.
  • Reduce interest in your website by cutting down on stories about very popular subjects, such as Syria.
  • Move site to a new web address every few minutes.
  • Shoot out an email reminding employees to be really careful online.
  • If you receive an unfamiliar email asking for your username and password, don’t delete it right away. Dig deeper by inputting your personal information and following the links.
  • Install a shit-ton of firewalls.
  • If your Twitter account is hacked, don’t be afraid to contact Twitter with your concerns. Their world-class tech team will respond in a fastidious manner to get your account up and running again within seconds.
  • Transfer over to a weekly print production schedule.
  • Remember that, worst comes to worst, it’s just a tweet, and it’s not like anyone’s ever had to apologize for a tweet before.