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Man With Strong Brand Loyalty Willing To Kill For Mazda

In a stern warning aimed at critics of Mazdas everywhere, area man Matthew Hunker, a longtime Mazda driver with two Mazdas in his garage at home, said Thursday his loyalty to the car manufacturer was so strong that he would be willing to kill in its name.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Carson Wentz

After being selected second overall in the 2016 NFL Draft, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz opened the season with a nearly flawless performance in a victory over the Cleveland Browns. Is he any good?
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The Perils Of Fan All-Star Voting

It's looking like a troubled All-Star Game for the NBA, with fans favoring Allen Iverson and Tracy McGrady even though both players have had subpar seasons. But it's not the first time fan involvement has muddied the All-Star waters.

  • 1933: In a controversial move, baseball fans vote to have an All-Star Game
  • 1985: In the NHL's first year experimenting with All-Star fan voting, Dr. J starts at left wing for the Eastern Conference
  • 1992: The free-throw line dunk receives more than 140 million All-Star votes
  • 2000: The influence of Internet voting begins to have an impact on the MLB All-Star Game when fans choose the Backstreet Boys as the starting second baseman for the American League
  • 2002: Every NFL player shows up to Hawaii after no player, coach, or fan bothers to vote anyone into the Pro Bowl
  • 2004: Though analysts thought Kobe Bryant's sexual assault allegations might stop him from being voted into the NBA All-Star Game, the fans prove they don't really care about that stuff
  • 2006: After bringing home a huge stack of ballots for his family, Manu Ginobili still only gets three votes
  • 2007: Though many believed 76-year-old Willie Mays' appearance as a starter showed yet another flaw in the MLB's All-Star voting system, Mays goes two for three with a home run and a stolen base

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