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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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The Pill Turns 50

This month marks the 50th anniversary of the U.S. government's approval of the birth control pill. Here are some of the ways the pill has helped change women's lives:

  • Proved much safer than earlier birth control methods, most notably the cordite-ignited vaginal gun
  • Successfully helped to replace the term "spinster" with the term "career-oriented"
  • Women are now able to learn math
  • A woman can now freely enjoy other races in her extramarital affairs without the damn baby's skin color giving it away
  • For baby-boomer women, the pill heralds the start of all '60s montages
  • Changed your mother's life, as she likes to say, yet you exist, and she doesn't appear all that thrilled with her life choices anyhow
  • Kept Stephanie Lyall of Lawrence, KS from realizing just how awful a mother she would have been
  • Skin really cleared up; plus, no kids

More from this section

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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