The Pros And Cons Of Militarizing The Police

In This Section

Vol 50 Issue 33

God Knocked Unconscious By DirectTV Satellite

THE HEAVENS—Noting that He was a little shaken but would be all right, sources confirmed Friday that the Lord God Almighty, Our Heavenly Father, was struck by a DirecTV satellite approximately 22,000 miles above earth, rendering Him unconscious for ...
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Innovation

Holiday

The Pros And Cons Of Militarizing The Police

The ongoing clashes between residents of Ferguson, MO and heavily armed police forces—which are equipped with M16 rifles and armored vehicles—have drawn attention to the increasing militarization of police in the United States. Here are the cases for and against outfitting local law enforcement with military-grade weapons:

PROS

  • Same tactics used successfully in Afghanistan, Iraq
  • Modern law enforcement simply cannot do their job properly by relying on handguns, tasers, and tear gas alone
  • A real shot in arm for nation’s ailing weapons industry
  • Look on driver’s face when tank pulls up beside Mini Cooper always fun
  • Local photojournalists now able to capture fog of war at home
  • Nice surprise treat for veterans to see weapons they used in war pop up on their hometown streets
  • Never a bad idea to put a more powerful gun in someone’s hand
  • Actually going to seem pretty quaint when compared with police armaments 20 years from now

CONS

  • Most police officers have proven fully capable of violently subduing protesters without any military-grade weapons
  • It actually very hard to recite Miranda rights while holding 40-pound grenade launcher
  • There no longer any middle ground between community watch and military
  • Mine Resistant Ambush Protected Vehicles only get 5 miles per gallon
  • Jesus, just look at this shit
  • Military-style helmets limit peripheral vision while firing indiscriminately into crowd
  • Could potentially be abused if put in lesser hands than America’s historically honest and virtuous police departments
  • Takes away that personal touch of beating a suspect to death with bare hands
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More