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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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The Pros And Cons Of Vaccinating Children

The anti-vaccination movement has grown increasingly vocal in recent years, with a variety of organizations and public figures attempting to convince parents that immunizing their children presents more risks than benefits. Here are the cases for and against vaccinating children:

PROS

  • Helps out pharmaceutical industry
  • Get to puncture child with needle
  • Old family syringe shop depends on it
  • Habituates children to the pain of existence
  • Flies in face of science by discrediting single unanimously refuted paper from 10 years ago
  • Healthier children equals friendlier waiters at Chili’s down the line
  • Could save a few million children’s lives

CONS

  • You have to go to a place
  • Chance of developing autism 100 percent
  • Puts the onus of character-building entirely on sports
  • Without suffering through diphtheria, the flu, and measles, American children will become effete, pampered do-nothings
  • Free lollipops promote unhealthy eating habits
  • Child won’t get to be kindergarten’s Typhoid Mary
  • Bullies parents into slavishly following actions recommended by decades of physicians’ peer-reviewed research that establishes an irrefutable scientific consensus

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