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The 'Sports Illustrated' Cover Jinx

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Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Carson Wentz

After being selected second overall in the 2016 NFL Draft, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz opened the season with a nearly flawless performance in a victory over the Cleveland Browns. Is he any good?

Former WWE Wrestler Found Alive At 44

PHOENIX—In a revelation that has sent shockwaves through the wrestling world, sources confirmed that former WWE wrestler Freddy Hendricks, better known as his in-ring persona “Time Bomb,” was discovered alive Friday at the age of 44.

Strongside/Weakside: Dak Prescott

Having assumed the role after Tony Romo’s injury during the preseason, Dak Prescott is expected to open the NFL regular season as the first rookie quarterback to start for the Dallas Cowboys since 2004. Is he any good?

Study: 96% Of Pickup Games Decided By Next Score

PRINCETON, NJ—Noting that none of the game’s earlier events factored into the final outcome in any way whatsoever, a study released Wednesday by researchers at Princeton University revealed that 96 percent of all pickup games are decided by the next score.

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.
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The 'Sports Illustrated' Cover Jinx

For decades it's been assumed that making the cover of Sports Illustrated equals bad luck. Evidence indicates this may in fact be the case.

  • 1954: Eddie Mathews, Wes Westrum, and Augie Donatelli all grace the cover of the debut issue of Sports Illustrated; less than 50 years later, all are dead
  • 1961: An early attempt to disprove the cover jinx backfires horribly when figure skater Laurence Owen appears on the cover with the caption "America's Most Exciting Figure Skater Who Surely Won't Die In A Plane Crash This Week"
  • 1971: Lew Alcindor is prominently displayed on the NBA playoffs preview issue; several months later, Alcindor apparently disappears off the face of the earth
  • 1991: Sports Illustrated begins a long period of creative and journalistic decline just weeks after featuring a picture of itself on the cover
  • 1999: The magazine features a piece on Electronic Arts' decision to put a picture of a player on the cover of its Madden series of games
  • 2003: Petra Nemcova graces the cover of the swimsuit issue and within a week becomes the victim of thousands of masturbations
  • 2008: Tom Brady suffers a torn MCL and ACL after SI publishes a photo of the quarterback's knee with the caption "Indestructible"

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