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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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The Titanic Rises Again

In the next six months, no fewer than four productions about the Titanic are slated for release: two made-for-TV movies, a Broadway musical and the film Titanic—at $200 million, the most expensive ever. Why are so many producers suddenly turning to
In the next six months, no fewer than four productions about the Titanic are slated for release: two made-for-TV movies, a Broadway musical and the film Titanic—at $200 million, the most expensive ever. Why are so many producers suddenly turning to

In the next six months, no fewer than four productions about the Titanic are slated for release: two made-for-TV movies, a Broadway musical and the film Titanic—at $200 million, the most expensive ever. Why are so many producers suddenly turning to the famous 1912 shipwreck?

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