The Traditional Championship Game Mayor's Bet

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Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Carson Wentz

After being selected second overall in the 2016 NFL Draft, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz opened the season with a nearly flawless performance in a victory over the Cleveland Browns. Is he any good?

Former WWE Wrestler Found Alive At 44

PHOENIX—In a revelation that has sent shockwaves through the wrestling world, sources confirmed that former WWE wrestler Freddy Hendricks, better known as his in-ring persona “Time Bomb,” was discovered alive Friday at the age of 44.

Strongside/Weakside: Dak Prescott

Having assumed the role after Tony Romo’s injury during the preseason, Dak Prescott is expected to open the NFL regular season as the first rookie quarterback to start for the Dallas Cowboys since 2004. Is he any good?

Study: 96% Of Pickup Games Decided By Next Score

PRINCETON, NJ—Noting that none of the game’s earlier events factored into the final outcome in any way whatsoever, a study released Wednesday by researchers at Princeton University revealed that 96 percent of all pickup games are decided by the next score.
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The Traditional Championship Game Mayor's Bet

It's a hallowed tradition for the mayors of cities represented in the championship game to make a wager as a show of their city's spirit and civic pride. Onion Sports looks at some of the best:

1974: New Orleans mayor Moon Landrieu guarantees the Jazz will win a championship within the franchise's first five years or he will sell the team to the "weirdest city in America"

1976: After New York mayor Abe Beame fails to make good on his World Series bet with the mayor of Cincinnati, a suspicious series of brutal killings rocks the Big Apple

1977: Oakland mayor John H. Reading bets Minneapolis mayor Charles Stenvig that if the Raiders win the championship game, the Vikings will never show their faces in the Super Bowl again

1985: Following the World Series, the mayors of Kansas City and St. Louis exchange snow globes of their respective cities

1987: Washington, D.C. mayor Marion Barry places $4,000 on St. Louis to beat Minnesota in the World Series

2000: During the Subway Series between the Mets and Yankees, New York mayor Rudy Giuliani loses a bet with the mayor of New York and is obligated to take New York's mayor out to a seven-course dinner at one of New York City's finest restaurants

2004: New England faces Carolina in the Super Bowl, but no one is exactly sure who the mayors of New England or Carolina are

2008: The NFC championship game against the Giants marks the 75th consecutive time a mayor of Green Bay has wagered a block of cheese


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