adBlockCheck

Entertainment

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
End Of Section
  • More News

The Troubled Future Of Reality Shows

The recent death of DJ AM has jeopardized Gone Too Far, a yet-to-air MTV program in which he helps people battle their addictions. Likewise, the suicide of a Megan Wants A Millionaire contestant accused of murdering his ex-wife has put an end to that show. What other scandals have disrupted reality series?

  • NBC comes under fire when producers fail to vet 386-pound Biggest Loser contestant Lou Holloway, and he's revealed to actually weigh 172 pounds
  • Britain's Got Talent is temporarily thrown into disarray when a physically unattractive person is revealed to have some shred of societal worth
  • America's Got Talent is put on hiatus after Nick Cannon is stopped at the U.S.-Mexico border with a suitcase full of parrots
  • VH1's entire fall lineup is put on hold due to a syphilis outbreak among most of the shows' stars, contestants, and crew members
  • Production on Project Runway is suspended when frontrunner Christopher Straub is found to have simply glued some beads and tassels onto existing Talbots clothing during each challenge
  • The contestants on More To Love realize they aren't interested in dating other fat people and just wander off one by one
  • After learning there would be a new season of Paris Hilton's My New BFF, season-one BFF Brittany Flickinger tweets secrets she learned about Paris during their one day as "friends"
  • Filming of 18 Kids And Counting is abruptly halted after several vital organs fall out of mother Michelle Duggar's abdominal cavity through her gaping vagina

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close