adBlockCheck

Sports

MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
End Of Section
  • More News

The Troubled Life Of Jayson Williams

Former Nets star Williams has pleaded guilty to aggravated assault in the 2002 accidental shooting death of his chauffeur, capping a years-long saga of depression and violence. We break down his troubled tale.

  • 1990: While on a street court in New York City, Williams' violent attacks on several players are mistaken for aggressive defense, leading to his draft into the NBA
  • 1992: With the stench of alcohol on his breath and blood pouring down his face, Williams is sentenced to eight years with the New Jersey Nets
  • 1994: Suffers third-degree burns on chest, neck, and face after attempting to freebase a basketball
  • 1996: Pretty good game against the Knicks
  • 1997-1998: On his best behavior, Williams resists temptation to steal ball from opponents
  • 2001: Williams has one of only five lifetime interactions with a motor vehicle in which he commits no crime
  • 2002: Eyewitnesses to the shooting step forward, claiming that immediately after the gun went off, Williams was heard to shout "Whoopsy-daisy!"
  • 2003: Williams begins an ill-fated "Legalize Accidentally Shooting People in the Face" campaign
  • 2004: After splitting an order of fries with friends at Denny's, Williams is caught stealing $1.38 in tips from an adjacent table
  • 2004: While on trial for reckless manslaughter, an intoxicated Williams accidentally shoots his lawyer with the gun marked "Exhibit A"
  • 2008: Williams shoots another guy in the face, but is able to cover it up pretty effectively this time

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close