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The University Honor Code

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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The University Honor Code

Brandon Davies' dismissal from the BYU basketball team for honor code violations has drawn attention to the very idea of honor codes. We've outlined some of the more prominent examples for you:

  • Butler: Pretend to go to classes every day even though the only part of the university that actually exists is the gym
  • Citadel: No Second Amendment on the court
  • Indiana University: What's left of school's honor code is mostly illegible considering Bob Knight chewed it up and pissed on it in 1998
  • Miami: Strict penalties are handed down to any athlete who shorts a teammate on an eighth
  • Notre Dame: You can lie all you want, but Jesus saw what you did
  • Pacific: Code of conduct is unspecific but says players should never act in a manner that's not befitting the Pacific Ocean
  • Purdue: Students must pledge never to build, or contemplate the building of, a drum larger than the university's famous World's Largest Drum
  • University of Texas: Athletes are not allowed to take money, but any piles of money they find just lying around the place are fair game
  • UC Berkeley: Athletes are strictly forbidden from either killing the buzz or quelling the vibe
  • USC: None

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