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Vol 29 Issue 07

Behold The Magic Flying Man

People of the Earth! Raise your gaze skyward and BEHOLD! Soaring above you on magical wings of purest silver flies Frank Gartley, the Magic Flying Man!

Cop Kills Own Partner, Vows To Track Self Down

DETROIT, MI—At an emotional press conference yesterday, Detroit police officer John McCullough an-nounced his guilt in the murder of longtime partner Mitch Peterson and vowed not to rest until he tracks himself down.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Restaurant Gives Totally Unwanted Twist To Mexican Cuisine

    BERKELEY, CA—Claiming that the eatery was already generating a buzz among locals with its “East Meets Mex” flavors, owners of the Bento Burrito location on Shattuck Avenue explained to reporters Tuesday how their new restaurant offers a ...

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